I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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