fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize