Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
