I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
