I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
