i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
