I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
