I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
