You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The air taste purple.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
