If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
