Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
