And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
