i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
