..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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