Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
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Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
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He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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