i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
