don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hippo gnu deer
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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