walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
