I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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