so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
