Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
