my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
