the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
