I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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