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you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
