this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
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