I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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