I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Bring me that man meat
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
