she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize