I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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