She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
