They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.