Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there