just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying