The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
