i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!