Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
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Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
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Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?