Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
