PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
