i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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