god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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