I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Houston, we have a squirter
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
