oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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