dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
