She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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