If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
