There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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