why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
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I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
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Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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