yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
