If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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