My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
