upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
