she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize