She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
