was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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