That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
