That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
