Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
