When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Randomize