he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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