it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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