I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Drunk is not a location!
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