Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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