His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
