I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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