were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
